Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize