i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
