I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
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She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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