what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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