so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
