ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize