You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
