so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
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I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
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apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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