is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize