SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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