Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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