Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
