Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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