I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
