Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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