I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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