I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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