You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
