sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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