wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
