We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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