I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He kissed a someone with a penis
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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