this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
