It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I can text with my tongue
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
