...so i touched it.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
