We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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