And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
