i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
