If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
did i just pee glitter
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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