Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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