they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
