im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
