My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize