There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
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