bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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