I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
