we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
