Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize