I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Randomize
