I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
