I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
