Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
