I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
