I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He? As in you personified your dick?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
