singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
