It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
