3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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