Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
