guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You need Xanax blowdarts
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize