Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
