hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
