I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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