My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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