No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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