this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
