his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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