All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
