before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
