dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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