So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
