GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
